Pick-Up Lines 101
by Emikadon
Summary: Poor Klavier Gavin, being reduced to using simple pick-up lines to charm the ever elusive heart of Ema Skye. Who knew that her sarcasm could even be used to respond to the lame jokes coming from our favorite German prosecutor?


**Hi! And welcome to my first every fanfiction ^_^ I've always loved Klavier and Ema's interactions, and I figured, hey why not write one myself? This idea was bouncing around in my head, but I was kinda iffy about actually posting it. Most of these pick-up lines I found on the internet, but the responses were all mine, haha. It's surprisingly fun, putting myself in Ema's shoes. Well, you guys can tell me how it is, so please leave a review at the end!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney does not belong to me and nor will it ever... :(**

* * *

Chapter One, 1-20

~O~

"Hello, Fräulein. May I say that you look absolutely divine today?"

"Are you saying that I don't look nice every other day?"

"Of course not, mein liebe. I am simply stating that you seem to be especially radiant today!"

"…go away, you fop."

~O~

"Did it hurt?"

"Excuse me? What the hell would hurt about paperwork, other than it boring me to tears?!"

"When you fell from heaven, I mean. It must have been painful, ja?"

"Resorting to lame pick-up lines now, glimmer boy? Fitting, since it matches your lame personality."

"Ouch! Fräulein how you hurt me so!"

~O~

"Fräulein, I seem to have lost my phone number. Would you mind giving me yours?"

"You're my boss, fop. You can look it up on your own."

"Ah! Does that mean that's a yes? Wait, Fräulein! Don't leave!"

~O~

"I am a thief, and I have come to steal your heart!"

"Careful, Mr. Gavin. You're standing in a police department. I could have you arrested for confessing to a theft."

"But your heart is not yet mine, so I suppose there has been no theft yet, ja?"

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

~O~

"Fräulein Skye, if I told you that you had a beautiful figure beneath that lab coat, would you hold it against me?"

"Hold it against you as in never talk to you again? Consider it done."

~O~

"Do you have a band aid? My knee was scraped when I fell for you."

"Don't you have fan girls that would be more than happy to kiss your boo-boo?"

"Ah, but they're not you, meine schöne detektiv. But really, do you have one? I cut my finger on a piece of glass at the crime scene."

"Do you mean to say your blood is now contaminating MY crime scene?!"

"Hehe… let's not be hasty, ja?"

~O~

"I am not drunk, I am merely intoxicated by you."

"…you drove here, didn't you?"

"Yes, on my hog. May I inquire as to why you are curious?"

"Klavier Gavin, you are under arrest for driving under the influence. Anything you say in the court of law can and will be used against you—"

"W-wait! Fräulein! I was kidding!"

~O~

"Life without you would be like a broken pencil…pointless."

"For the love of science, where are you getting all of these?!"

"The internet is a wonderful thing, nein?"

~O~

"I believe I have misplaced my teddy bear. May I cuddle with you instead?"

"Ooh the glimmerous fop sleeps with a teddy bear? Wait until the tabloids hear about that."

"It will be worth the world knowing, so long as I have you in my arms as a replacement!"

"Wait until everyone knows that the big, scary prosecutor isn't so scary after all!"

~O~

"Ein moment, Fräulein Skye. What is that in your eye?"

"What? (Rubs at eyes)"

"Oh nein. That was just a sparkle. My apologies."

~O~

"Achtung! I think I dropped something! My jaw!"

"I believe you've lost something as well. Your mind!"

~O~

"Möchten Sie mit mir auszugehen?"

"Désolé, vous n'êtes pas mon type."

"Eh? The Fräulein speaks French? What did you say?"

"Annoying isn't it? Not understanding a different language. Welcome to my world, fop."

"I would love to be part of your world! Danke for offering!"

"…idiot…"

~O~

"If I had a dollar for every time you crossed my mind, I would be the richest man in the world."

"If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to slap you, I'd be even richer."

~O~

"Fräulein, why can't you just admit that you want me?"

"You're right. I want you to leave."

~O~

"Mein liebe, I apologize, but I must put you under arrest."

"What?!"

"I have come to the conclusion that you are a terrorist, for your body is truly the bomb!"

"Well, this bomb is about to explode if you don't leave, YOU GLIMMEROUS FOP!"

~O~

"If you were a pill, I would gladly overdose."

"Are you saying you do drugs? I'll be more than happy to place you under arrest again."

"Aha! You have admitted that you like putting me in handcuffs! I never knew you could be so kinky, liebling!"

"…or I could file a complaint of sexual harassment."

~O~

"Fräulein, please allow me to be the Sodium to your Chloride, for together, we will be the sweetest thing the world has ever seen!"

"…"

"Fräulein?"

"…"

"Is something the matter?"

"…"

"What?"

"Fop… Sodium chloride is SALT. NOT SUGAR."

~O~

"Are you busy, Fräulein? Because I would love to spend my life with you."

"No, I'm free. But you have a case today."

"Scheiße! I forgot!"

~O~

"I believe I have finally succumbed to the sweetness of death… for you must be an angel!"

"No, you're not dead. But it can certainly be arranged if you like!"

~O~

"Mein liebe, you have been voted most beautiful girl in the room! Your prize is a date with me."

"No thanks, glimmer boy. I'll just take the cash. After all, you seem to have an abundance of it."

* * *

**Soo...? How was it? Not too lame, I hope? I really do hope I got Ema and Klavier's personalities down right. My English teacher has told me before that I suck at writing. If you have any suggestions to improve, please tell me! Oh and in addition, if you have any pick-up lines/responses, feel free to message me or review it! I'll be more than happy to hear any suggestions :D I'll be sure to mention you and give credit!**

**Review~ (You know you wanna ;D)**


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